|Not related to our weekend, but what a cute boy I have!|
But back to my weekend. Friday night wasn't so bad. The boys came, we grabbed Subway for dinner, and just chilled. I started in on some usual weekend chores, like dishes, tidying up, etc., but nothing was too stressful. Saturday is where I started to get tired. Have you ever felt like you work and work and work all day long and just don't have much to show for it? That was Saturday. It started waking early with Mason while everyone else slept. This is not unusual, and in fact I prefer early mornings - my favorite part of the day. We got up, and I started the coffee. Then I washed dishes (this would be the first of many times), folded laundry, and went to the grocery store. When I got home from the grocery store, Byron went to get his dad's ladder, I started making lunch, and when Byron got back the boys helped him take the lights down. We ate lunch. Lunch created a LOT of dishes, probably the only downside of cooking at home. So we washed dishes. I helped Byron hang a light fixture (beautiful by the way...I have to take pictures and show it!!!). We fought Mason to get him down for a nap. I ran an errand to pick up TurboTax (finally) and started doing our taxes. Then I started making dinner. We invited my parents to join us, and we ate like kings. It was awesome. There were a TON of dishes. So we did dishes again. And eventually, fought with Mason to get him to bed. I was already so tired, and the weekend was only half over, that I'm pretty sure I just handed him my phone with Curious George pulled up on it and said "Watch some Georges, mama's going to sleep" and proceeded to fall asleep right next to him. I later woke at 1:05 AM and said a quick prayer "Lord I hope he has been asleep for awhile..."
Then Sunday came. Again, I woke up early with Mason. All five of us got ready for church, and there was even a pancake breakfast so score, no dishes for that meal. We came home. We folded laundry. We fought Mason for a nap again. I paid bills. I mailed some important documents. I organized our files after getting our taxes done. I started making an Easter basket for Mason (also going to be awesome and I hope to share!). I made dinner. There were MORE dishes. And eventually the boys went home, Papa came over for a bit, and we all collapsed into bed.
Now, before you think this is just a massive complaint about how hard my life is, that is not the point (plus I know it is not hard compared to some). Somewhere between Saturday night and Sunday morning, when I realized that after I got a ton accomplished, I really had barely hit the tip of the iceberg, that it came to me. Running a family is hard. Quite honestly, just being an adult is hard. Not only are there bills, taxes, chores, errands, etc. that are required to keep a house running, but there is this other (huge) part about investing in people's lives. Yes, I need to pay bills in order for Mason to live in a moderately functioning house, but I also want to spend intentional time with him where I foster his development so that he will turn into an awesome young man. I want my husband to take down our Christmas lights and hang my new light fixture, but I also want to just spend some time talking with him. These are ALL necessary things. Ultimately we have to choose how to spend our time. There are moments of crossing off tasks and moments of making memories, and we are lucky to get to do them all. But sometimes, we have to choose, and what we choose is not always fun. And so, my friends, my realization is this. If you are alive, and if your family is alive, then you are doing something right. I am so thankful for my situation - a great husband who helps around the house, good jobs that allow us to do so many things, and family close by who we can do life with. I realize there are so many different families out there, with so many things going on. I admire you all. You are all amazing. From the bottom of my heart, congratulations on a job well done.
With my mental to-do list *slightly* shorter after this weekend, it seems that I can let a bit of my anxiety go. And although those chores will always be waiting for me, I have a special little boy and a special big boy that I will remember to keep at the top of my list.